• Safa Shooshtry

The Armchair Quarterback Volume 72:New Nicknames for our NFC West Rival

Image Credit: USA TODAY Sports

As the San Francisco 49ers enter Week 8 on a two-game winning streak, they find themselves staring down a familiar foe. On Sunday, the 49ers will be at CenturyLink Field facing the Seattle Seahawks. Although the Seahawks are 5-1, they are a far cry defensively from the team that dominated the early part of the 2010s.

The Seahawk defenses of those days were always on top of the league where defensive statistics and efficiency were concerned. Now however, the Seahawks are giving up league worsts of 33.8 points per game and 425.2 yards per game.

Therefore, the defense once known as the “Legion of Boom” needs a new name. We have a few ideas.

Now Boarding

Every airline is always trying to boast about how you can earn additional miles with their rewards programs. Well, how about the fact that Seattle is allowing opposing offenses to pick up additional yards weekly.

They don’t care which team you are from, if you are an opposing offense you will pick up additional perks, stat-wise. They are like a very generous airline, so why not anoint them as such. Being that they are from the Emerald City, they should represent accordingly as Emerald Airlines. Their slogan can even be “Emerald Airlines, extra yards guaranteed.”

We are the Nation

The play of Seattle’s defense is causing much consternation for their fanbase. They’ve gone deep in fourth quarters of games ceding leads to their opponents, only to have the offense bail them out.

Millennials who are former wrestling fans will remember the old WWE stable, The Nation of Domination. It was where Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson (a huge fan of tight end George Kittle and the 49ers) got his start.

Why not pay homage to that very wrestling stable and give Seattle’s defense the dishonor of being called “The Nation of Consternation.” It just works.

What Kind of League?

The Legion of Boom that Seattle’s defense of almost a decade ago named themselves was taken from the Legion of Doom stable of super villains from DC Comics. It only seems right to go back to a DC themed nomenclature.

On the other end of the spectrum from the Legion of Doom is the Justice League, the stable of superheroes from DC Comics. The Seattle defense is always getting busted up by opposing offenses. The only logical route to go is to dub them “The Bust-Us League.”

Thank you, thank you, I’m here every week.

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