The Armchair Quarterback Volume 65: New Player Nicknames for 2020

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It’s a new year and a new season, which means there needs to be some new nicknames. Some of the players on the San Francisco 49ers have iconic nicknames which have become interchangeable with their actual names. Richard “Uncle Sherm” Sherman and Jerick “Jet” McKinnon would fall into such a category. Those nicknames need not be replaced, but rather the players with low-intensity nicknames which just don’t do them justice need an upgrade.

Jimmy Garoppolo

The 49ers star quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo is often referred to as “Jimmy G.,” which is okay. And one loud and obnoxious ESPN personality who I will not give any credence to, refers to Garoppolo with a less than flattering nickname that touches on his past dating preferences. But he needs a nickname that captures who he really is.

There is one nickname which has been misused for years and it is high time we use it correctly and call Garoppolo by the moniker “El Guapo.” Former 49ers running back Carlos Hyde and MMA legend Bas Rutten both used that nickname, which means “the handsome one.” However, when considering those two you don’t get the same level of handsome that comes to mind with Garoppolo.

Most women, men, hell, even your pets, would all agree that Jimmy Garoppolo is one handsome guy, so “El Guapo” as a nickname fits great, baby.

Trent Taylor

One member of the 49ers who will be looking to make an impact in 2020 is wide receiver Trent Taylor. After missing the entire 2019 season due to injury, Taylor will be looking to “explode” back on the scene, so to say. In case you weren’t aware Taylor’s middle name is Nelson, so in other words we have a perfect nickname with initials, TNT.

Look for TNT to be blasting defensive backs to convert on third downs in 2020. And if you see a blown coverage down the field, just know that he probably had something to do with it. In addition to all that, the gameday crew at Levi’s Stadium has a perfect AC/DC song for when Taylor scores a touchdown.

George Kittle

The sporting world already has a king in basketball. That would be King James. However, it’s time we acknowledge there is a king on the gridiron as well.

In 2018, tight end George Kittle broke a record for most yards receiving ever in a single season by a tight end. In 2019, in addition to Pro Bowl and All-Pro selections, he also received the highest grade ever for a tight end from Pro Football Focus (since their ranking system began). He was also recently ranked No. 7 on the NFL Top 100, as voted by his peers.

Through his first three seasons in the NFL he’s already having a Hall-of-Fame-worthy career. And all the while he seems to have fun doing it, and never seems to be without enthusiasm.

Kittle is a special player and deserves a special designation, therefore he should be coronated King George. The nickname would be fitting as Kittle is indeed the king of tight ends at this point in his career. Long live King George, and long may he reign in the red and gold.

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