• Safa Shooshtry

The Armchair Quarterback Volume 52: Hot and Cold Takes Early Offseason Edition

Image Credit: Andrew Giesemann

Well, here we are in that slow time of the year before NFL free agency begins and before the NFL draft. And when it’s slow, the media starts to perpetuate rumors that are based in speculation rather than truth. There is one particularly overblown rumor that is starting to really sink into San Francisco 49ers circles. It started with some whisperings and went full blown in media rooms and with Twitter posts. And when things like that start to happen, it’s only right that we bring you another edition of Red and Cold Takes.

Cold Take Number One: The 49ers will go after Tom Brady in 2020

If you know John Lynch, then you already know one thing

He doesn’t go chasing dreams based in nothing

Tom Brady will be 43 by the start of the season

Mortgaging your future to sign him would be treason

The 49ers already have a QB on their roster

Ones whose future they should absolutely foster

I’m talking about Jimmy G who’s 21-5 as a starter

You can’t underestimate that record partner

So instead of talking Brady to the Bay and all the feels

Let’s talk about Kittle and Buckner getting their deals

Cold Take Number Two: The 49ers will go after Tom Brady in 2020 (not a typo)

Deion Sanders was supposed to be talking combine

But Brady to the Bay was the only thing on his mind

Brady to SF and Garoppolo back to New England

Is this Stranger Things, are the we in the upside-down land?

All these rumors might be dandy and fun

But there are more important moves to get done

Media please stop talking about the 49ers acquiring Brady

The 49ers already have a QB and he, “Feels Great Baby!”

Cold Take Number Three: The 49ers will go after Tom Brady in 2020 (still not a typo)

The cons of making this move outweigh the pros

Why can’t these pundits see what’s right under their nose?

The win right now trick always comes back to bite you

Don’t believe me ask Sean McVay what he went through

All that sign and trade talk is starting to sound shady

Last year it revolved around Brown this year it’s Brady

So please media and Brady acolytes just know this move won’t click

The 49ers are ready to build with what they have brick by brick

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