• Safa Shooshtry

The Armchair Quarterback Volume 51: Offseason Activities

Image Credit: Andrew Giesemann

The offseason is finally upon us. This is the lull in which the players get to cut loose a little bit and enjoy some time to themselves before training camp. They get to take that vacation with their families or ball out at a night club with their friends.

There are many activities which the players could engage in. The players of the San Francisco 49ers are an eclectic group, and their interests are varied. What are some activities that certain players could be taking part in this offseason? Let’s take a look at some possibilities.

Cat Convention

It’s no secret that wide receiver Dante Pettis is a cat enthusiast. His two cats Mowgli and Bagheera are an integral part of his life. It would not be a stretch to see Pettis attend any cat convention he could find this offseason. A cat convention would bring so many great ideas into Pettis’ mind.

He could find new activities to provide to his cats. He could find new food options for them. And best of all he could find new tricks to teach his cats. I mean who wouldn’t want a cat that could bring over the morning paper for you!

Monday Night Raw Appearance

Just as Pettis is a known cat fanatic, tight end George Kittle is a known pro wrestling fanatic. What better way to spend the offseason than being a part of a wrestling storyline on WWE Monday Night Raw? I mean, Kittle should probably stay away from any actual matches to keep his body intact for the season, but who says he can’t partake in a bit of drama.

A perfect story line would be something along the lines of The Rock returning to “layeth the smacketh down” on some of these disrespectful younger wrestlers. And the “People’s Champ” can arrive with some backup. That backup being the “People’s Tight End” Kittle. Again, Kittle would be there for his stellar mic work and not actually compete in a match.

Motivational Speech Mondays

Mondays are tough for most people who work a traditional 40-hour weeks. Getting back into the grind after two days off is tough (which, let’s be real: you lazed around and did nothing). What would make it a bit easier is if someone would volunteer to come by the office on Monday morning and provide an inspirational speech of sorts. And not just anybody it would have to the founder of the “Hot Boyzz,” linebacker Kwon Alexander himself.

Alexander is known around the 49ers as being an emotional leader. He gives some solid pre-game pump up speeches. But what if he were giving Monday morning motivational speeches to deserving folk around the Bay Area at various businesses? Can you say immediate improved performances!

Activities and Beyond

There is a plethora of activities that the players on the 49ers could be taking part in this offseason. With their varied backgrounds it would be no surprise to see pictures from different locales and in different attires strewn throughout each of their Instagram pages. The only hope is they avoid things such as helmetless moped riding, receiving Stone Cold Stunners and excessive junk food eating. We hope to see them all arrive at training camp relaxed, healthy and ready to dominate the rest of the NFL this season!

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