The Armchair Quarterback Volume 49: Red and Cold Takes: Super Bowl Edition
Image Credit: Andrew Giesemann
We have finally made it to the week of Super Bowl LIV! And as fate would have it the San Francisco 49ers are back in it after a seven-year hiatus. They get a chance to play the Kansas City Chiefs and bring home their sixth Lombardi trophy. As fate would also have it, the week the 49ers are playing in their seventh Super Bowl in franchise history coincides with volume 49 of The Armchair Quarterback. It’s super, extra special with a cherry on top! So, without further ado I bring you Red and Cold Takes: The Super Bowl Edition!
Cold Take Number 1: “Travis Kelce is a Better Tight End Than George Kittle”
What was the highest PFF grade for a tight end ever?
It was 95.0 you’d know that if you were clever
It’s a grade that’s owned by Kittle not Kelce
And if you still think Travis is better then let’s see
Which tight end in 2019 was named first team All-Pro?
I’ll give you a clue, he plays for San Francisco
So now let me ask who’s the best tight end in the league
If you answered anything other than King George, please leave
Cold Take Number 2: “The Chiefs Will Blow out the 49ers in the Super Bowl”
Mike Freeman polled some NFL coaches and execs
And they all said something that didn’t make too much sense
They said the Chiefs will win in a blowout
So, you don’t think the 49ers defense will show out
Oh, there’s no defense for young Patrick?
Wait until you see a Nick Bosa sack-trick
It’s almost like no one watched the Niners at all this season
That’s how we like it though and we got one more W to squeeze in
Cold Take Number 3: “The 49ers Have Never Seen a Player Like Frank Clark Before”
Frank Clark thinks no one has seen a player like him before
But the 49ers actually have seen him many times more
Than other teams, because he used to play for the Seahawks
So, he can take his forgetful ass and go kick rocks
The Niners handled all four All-Pro edge rushers this season
And to think they won’t do the same to Clark, there’s no reason
Mr. Clark please try and at least attempt to be humble
Because the Niners’ o-line is coming at you ready to rumble!
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