• Safa Shooshtry

The Armchair Quarterback Volume 44: No Fiddle for George Kittle

Image Credit: Andrew Giesemann


Tight end George Kittle of the San Francisco 49ers is arguable the best at his position in the NFL right now. But he’s making a damn good case for being one of the toughest players in the league as well. In his return to action on primetime against the Green Bay Packers he put up a stat line of six receptions, 129 yards receiving, and one touchdown. That was all while recovering from a broken ankle and a bummed knee. That performance embodied toughness. But what other injuries might he be able to overcome?

Stubbed Toe

A stubbed toe is the easily one of the toughest ailments that non-athletes deal with on a regular basis. How many times have you knocked your toe on the corner of the couch or your bed post? Probably too many times to count. And needless to say, it hurts! Kittle on the other hand has toes (and probably feet) made of titanium. There are numerous unverified reports of him causing more damage to bed post corners and couch corner from making contact with them. Kittle is very careful not to knock his toes into things, but for item-safety rather than his own health.

Paper Cuts

What is the most infuriating office injury you ask? Hands down, a paper cut. Paper is supposed to be our friend, but if you happen to unintentionally slice your hand against a piece of printer paper, you get an office casualty. Kittle though has hands that are made of marshmallows. They don’t cut easily, but they are soft enough to make the excellent catches with the degree of difficulty he is known for. So, all the pieces of paper that will be used in Kittle’s lifetime for acceptance speeches and future max contracts better check themselves. No cuts from them!

Brain Freeze

When normal individuals gulp down a milkshake or a Slurpee too quickly, they experience a mind-numbing sensation called brain freeze. Kittle on the other hand does not feel that same sensation. When he drinks a cold, icy beverage too quickly, he gets enlightened! He comes up with more creative ways to elude his defenders and make catches in traffic. He currently has the “Stone Cold” Kittle moniker, as a homage to pro-wrestler Steve Austin. However, a more accurate nickname for him would be “Ice Cold” Kittle!

Injury is a Mind-Set

There is no doubt that George Kittle has shown extreme resolve to play through injury and help lead his team to victory. He personifies the word toughness. However, we as 49er Faithful hope and pray that he will continue to heal up quickly; and ride out the rest of the season (and post-season) without any further injuries! There was once a saying, “Winter is Coming.” How about “Ice Cold Kittle is Coming”!


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