• Safa Shooshtry

The Armchair Quarterback Volume 29: How the Glinch Saved Christmas

Image Credit: Mike McGlinchey Instagram


At long last, here we are! The San Francisco 49ers top draft picks Nick Bosa and Deebo Samuel have finally signed their rookie deals. And today kicks off the first day of training camp for the 49ers. And for the next few weeks we will finally have some solid football news. Camp position battles, rookie and sophomore breakout performances during the preseason, and a joint practice with the Denver Broncos will surely provide some drama. But before we get to all that it’s time to embrace the last dog days of football-less summer with some entertainment. And for that we bring you some excerpts from the works of lyrically savvy, 49ers centric author… Dr. Shoosh!


How the Glinch Saved Christmas

He rode into Levi’s and he was right on time

With his monstrous strength for the right side of the O-Line

He trained all week hitting multiple bench presses

So that on gameday he would be strong whilstin the trenches

The 49ers NFC West rival came up from the southern part of the state

And to line up against them on the on the field, the Glinch could hardly wait

It was December 22nd in the city of Santa Clara in the South Bay

So, for Christmas to be saved this game would have to go a certain way

He made key blocks so his quarterback could drop back to pass

Any opposing defenders would very quickly end up on their ass

No edge rusher or linebacker got past him that day

And he dashed down the field when coach called a run play

His name is Mike McGlinchey, or Glinch for short

And he’s one of the best offensive tackles in all of the sport

The story I told is how he helped his team defeat the Rams

And save Christmas for all of San Francisco’s adoring fans


That ladies and gentlemen was a taste of the works of Dr. Shoosh, from his most popular piece How the Glinch Saved Christmas. Throughout the season we will offer up more excerpts from his works chronicling the 49ers. So, stay tuned! But for now, get hyped for training camp, the preseason, and storylines galore!!


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