• Safa Shooshtry

The Armchair Quarterback Volume 20: Red and Cold Takes Part Deux

Image Credit: USA TODAY Sports

An epidemic has been plaguing the San Francisco Bay Area and beyond recently, and it needs to be addressed. That epidemic is the awful takes from the Twittersphere regarding the San Francisco 49ers. It seemed post-draft like these takes would calm down. But they in fact did not. So, I, your trusted Armchair Quarterback bring you another edition of Red and Cold Takes. This is the segment where I respond to some of these awful takes. This week I give you responses via Haiku. Let’s begin!

Only three players

Have more yards rushing than him

Smith, Payton, Sanders

Gould for Mack straight up

Bears, there is a deal for you

We seek trade value

13 sacks last year

Is that what you call a bum

Pro Bowl worthy fool

He will stretch the field

ROTY candidate

Please do not SLOT shame

Please cut the kid slack

He is not a bad person

He’ll grow and learn here

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