• Michael Fitch

'Twas the Night Before Christmas for 49ers Fans

‘Twas the night before Christmas for 49ers fans;

The games had all ended and empty were stands;

The mock drafters were writing their pieces with care;

With the Faithful all knowing Myles Garrett won’t be there.

At the start of the day things were looking quite grim;

And as Week 16 ends our chances stay slim;

Hope almost returned as we nestle in bed;

But visions of the first pick danced out of our heads.

As early games kicked off, the first choice was Cleveland’s;

Yet against every odd, the crowd roared in Believeland!

From the bay to the beach, to those out-of-town;

We too leapt to our feet to cheer for the Browns.

So, the Niners lined up with the Rams as their foe;

Riding their failures and reaping their woe;

The Rams had the lead as we rounded the bend;

But failing at failing is how this story ends.

All that was needed was a Week 16 loss;

But two points were added as the goal-line was crossed;

Kap managed to scramble his way to a win;

Much to the draftnik’s Christmas chagrin.

As the Niners head off for a long offseason nap;

Free agency looms with that salary cap;

We’ll watch tape-after-tape for the next Joe Montana;

While Tim K. writes of PSLs and Jed’s new cabana.

We’ll shout out draft crushes without any shame;

Grade them all by position and call them by name:

“Garrett’s gone! Take Allen! Trade back up for Trubisky!

Or Kizer! Mike Williams! Just no one injury-risky!”

The 49ers limp home, their roster notably scarred;

And a 2-14 record seems to be in the cards;

Still, try to sleep well and dream of the firings;

Of Baalke, not York, thanks to all his conspiring.

While placed ‘neath the tree is a card from Coach Chip;

It says “I’m so sorry, there’s one more week of this shit;

I just couldn’t tank, though it’s in my control;

Merry Christmas to all faithful to red and gold.”